Table For One
Before I moved to Chicago I hardly ever had to do things by myself. When I was at CMU I had plenty of people to go get a cup of coffee with me, go out for a meal, go see a movie, or whatever else I wanted to do. People were always around. At home, I had the people I worked with, a few friends from high school and, of course, Kath Kath to come with me, or me with them. It wasn't ONLY that I didn't like doing things by myself, it was just that I never had to. In Chicago I have been finding myself doing more things on my own more then I ever thought of myself as being able to do. I get lunch breaks at work and even when I bring my lunch, I usually go some where other then our break room to eat it. I go to the food court and sit for my hour to read and eat. A conversation with a client a while back has made me wonder, do people sitting alone draw more attention then people sitting in groups? She was looking for a place to eat that would be good food but also faster then a nice sit down establishment, but not fast food. She didn't want to sit for a long time alone because people stare, she felt, and it made her uncomfortable. I thought to myself that this was probably all in her head; or was it? Do people tend to stare at you, or at least do double takes in shock, when you are some where alone? When you are at a sit down restaurant? What if you are at a coffee shop alone? The movies? The bar? Where are lines to be drawn, or do they even have to be drawn? Why is our society a society that deems it "odd" to do some things by yourself and not other things?
posted by Kourtney @ 11:25 AM
6 Comments:
sometimes i like doing things by myself better than with other people. you never have the awkward silence, everyone at the table gets their food at the same time, it doesn't matter if there is food in your teeth, you don't have to wait for another person to finish, and you can go wherever you want. i do think people stare at those that are alone. for a few reasons: they are interested and are thinking of approaching you, they are with somebody highly annoying and envy your sense of independence,or they have a big group and are wondering if they can take your extra chair. i do not think its odd. i think we all need to do it. the line MAY be drawn and attending the bar alone, especially if you do this often:-)
Much to Theresa's horror, I would often go to movies by myself. I did this because I wanted a break, I wanted to see something no one else wanted to see, everyone else was busy, or some other reason. That being said, I kinda think that if people stare at the person sitting alone, it is for one of two reasons...
1. They are afraid to be alone. They look at you with longing to be that free from the concerns of appearances.
or
2. They think you are a loser with no real friends. Because if you had friends, why would you be alone?
But the truth is, why should you care what others think? Especially total strangers? The less you care about what others think, the more you enjoy doing things on your own...when you have to or want to do them on your own that is.
SWAFF
HAHA i wrote out this long thing and then of course i entered the letters wrong so i read swafs comment and it was the same as what i was going to say....but ill add this:
I think that's awesome that you are getting out and doing things by yourself I think its a great experience you really learn a lot about yourself, like for example how funny you are, what a great dancer you are or how loud you really do laugh in a movie theatre when there is no one around you to tell you to be quiet:)
I think its somewhat sad that people assume that if you do things on your own, you're either a loser or someone with no friends. Sometimes its nice to get away and do stuff alone. Sometimes all of your friends are busy, and you just don't feel like sitting alone in your apartment. And I think that the attention you get is based on how much you stick out... Being alone in a coffee shop isn't a big deal because of all the people studying, but alone in a bar or restaurant at night is more obvious.
--Matt
But you do have a point. Going to the bar alone is not cool. It's only slightly above sitting alone in the dark drinking...and that's alcoholism.
SWAFF
i never look at people who are out by themselves and even think twice, let alone think that they are by themselves because they have no one to be with.
the next time i do something by myself i will smile a lot more and make people feel awkward if they try to judge me. so there!
Post a Comment
<< Home