Changing
What makes people change? I have had two gripes with myself and personality. Yes, only two. Other than that, I am pretty much perfect (and modest). My gripes fall with my lack of confrontation and the fact that I care too much what people think. Both of these "set backs" have different levels, and I have been attempting to work on them for a long time. I have written many posts in the past about wanting to change and to stop caring what people think. What really prompts said change? I thought that I was making progress when I was slightly more confrontational this summer, and at times that typically, I would have no said a word. Also, thought I was making head way when Sunday night I could dance, while sober, and not care what people thought. Just cared about having fun with my friends. After these "head ways" have happened, I wake up the next day still caring what people think and still biting my tongue when I have things to say. Maybe my problem with the change has been that I expect to wake up one day and no longer care what people think or be able to say whatever is on my mind to whomever is around. I guess that just isn't realistic, is it? I have thought about this a lot since moving to Chicago. This move was going to be what finally made me "change" into who I thought I wanted to be. I have come to the conclusion that I have already changed into who I wanted to be. Maybe there will be times where growth is important, but not really changing.
posted by Kourtney @ 9:23 AM
9 Comments:
I really like the distinction between growth and change and I think you're totally right on this one. Also, you and I share the same two issues...keep at it!
I really feel if you got over the "fear of what others think," you'd get over the "fear of confrontation." It isn't hard to confront people if you aren't afraid of them thinking nasty thoughts about you.
It is okay to give consideration to what other's think...but in the end, you're the best judge of your behavior.
practice on me please because i am, as you know, the queen of confrontation and hate when anything goes unsaid. my old crazy roommate used to just give me the silent treatment (seriously)and it drove me up the wall so it forced me toward the other extreme.
ps. think about how much fun sunday night was! arent you glad you threw out your inhibitions?
I saw 3 comments and expected to see 3 people chiming in on flaws she left off her short list. And I find only that you all agree with her!? Unbelievable.
(naturally I don't have anything (constructive or otherwise) to add to this conversation...BUT you still care what I think!!!)
sincerely yours,
other people.
I used to set goals for my life. Things I wanted to change. I think I’ve realized over the years that you are what you are. Change has to occur gradually, when you focus on it…it’s hard. There isn’t anything inherently bad about not being confrontational and caring what people think. There are the traits that make up who you are. It’s much deeper than a decision to start telling people to fuck off. Take it nice and slow. Enjoy life. Tell people off when you’re passionate. Don’t care what people think when you’re feeling free. Just take it one moment at a time, baby.
I liked this post, I must say that you have become more and more confrontational and "free" since when I first met you. However as I get older I also realize that people arent always compeltely capable of change and thats okay. We love them anyways:)
good insight..
i don't care what people think, cos' i am who i am, i like myself enough to live in my skin, and others should just accept me. i can say the worst things to people i know very well (family, friends, boyfrien), but i just can't confront strangers, rude strangers.
i still have to work on hte sharpness of my tongue :P
I've realized that as I get older my tolerance for shitheads is not what it used to be. You'll get there!!
just tell yourself, "I AM a mean girl"...
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