Here's your sign

When moving to the windy city, I stupidly assumed that I would encounter people with more common sense. Turns out, no! There are people everywhere that need to be given a sign stating their stupidity. The stories below are, in fact, true and are not actors. Please do not try this in your city or shopping experiences. (Side note: In a shocking turn of events, this was written at work. Along with my to do list for tonight!)


1) When you look around and see petite signs in the windows and walls, you are, indeed, on the petites floor. We are not trying to trick you!

2) If you hold up a small and do not like the shirt, you do not need to dig through the pile and find a large. It looks the same as the small, only a little bigger. You still will not like it!

3) If you hate the colors ivory, brown, gold or any thing in between then please do not buy a skirt only matching those colors. You will not like what I show you!

4) Do not tell me you are only looking for a certain color but do not care what the style is like. When I show you 4 or 5 different styles and you hate all of them, you clearly care! Tell me what you want to speed the process up. I am sure you have other retail stores to annoy!

5) Please do not get mad at me when a design isn't as long or short as you would have liked. I sell not design. But next time I have lunch with the designers I will be sure to let them know your feelings. I am sure they care.

6) When you try on a basic dress keep in mind that it will look basic. Sure you can add accessories to "jazz it up a bit," but it will still be basic. Please do not complain to me that what you are trying on is boring. What do you expect from something that is basic?

7) When shopping on Michigan Avenue on a Saturday or Sunday you must realize that it will busy. You are not the only person looking for a size 2. Please don't expect me to have your size on the rack all the time or be annoyed when it takes me a few minutes to track your skirt down that you don't even end up buying. If you want your size waiting for you when you feel like looking for it then shop on line!

8) You might be on Mich Ave but it isn't Rodeo Drive. I don't serve you water or wine. Please do not ask me what I do when I am thirsty. I do what every one does when they want something to drink. I go upstairs to the food court and get myself a pop. No! I am not going up to get you a pop.