Lessons in banking

Since I no longer work for my former employer (story for another blog....in a month!) I am finally able to share the lessons I have learned in banking. Because I no longer work there I can be open and honest about what NOT to do in a bank with out the risk of being fired for talking about my clients. It is your civic duty to pass these on to any one and every one who might do these things. Read and learn:

1) When there is a line at the bank and you have to wait it is annoying. However, try to not go during lunch or closing time if you don't want to wait in those lines.

2) When you have to wait in line please resist the urge to complain LONGER then it takes us to do your transactions. You are now holding up everyone behind you. Ironic, right? I get it. You had to wait in line. Your time is valuable. No one but you has had to wait in this line.

3) When we tell you that your money has not been released from the bank the check is drawn on it has not been released. I can not call them and ask them to put the money in your account. Nor is it our fault they have not allowed you to have it yet.

4) Sure you have thousands of dollars in your account, but that does not mean service fees do not apply to you. If you transfer funds more then 3 times and your account only allows you to transfer it 3 times you will be given a fee. You can threaten to take all of your money out of your account, but you will be making a withdrawal of your money after we take your fee out. I worked for one of the largest companies in America.....they will not miss you or your money.

5) You may gladly threaten to bomb the bank and tell me it is my fault. You still won't get your money any faster and that is, in fact, a federal offense. Your account will be flagged for this threat permanetly and I will have to call the cops. I have all of your info on my screen, they WILL be able to find you.

6) The bank is not a place for you to find your Friday night date. Do not call work lines in hopes to ask some one out that was just doing their job in assisting you that day. You saw the line when you were there. People do not have time to talk on the phone and make plans with you for this weekend.

7) If the window or desk is closed, even if some one is in there working on something else, it is closed. You will be called upon if people are free to take you. You are not the only person that has banking to do on a given day. Sometimes we need a few moments to get caught up. The more rude you are, the longer you will wait. Trust me!

8) Although I am truely sorry for the loss of your perent the weekend prior, it is awkward for you to come up while I am with some one else and tell me about it. Awkward for me and for the person I am actually working with. I might cut you some slack the first time you do it; however, when you do it two weeks later telling me you lost your other parent it is still awkward. I am deeply sorry for you and your loss, but I am not waiting on you and I do not know what to say. Thank-you for showing me pictures they were both beautiful people but the bank on a friday payday is not the time for such conversations.