Here's your sign

When moving to the windy city, I stupidly assumed that I would encounter people with more common sense. Turns out, no! There are people everywhere that need to be given a sign stating their stupidity. The stories below are, in fact, true and are not actors. Please do not try this in your city or shopping experiences. (Side note: In a shocking turn of events, this was written at work. Along with my to do list for tonight!)


1) When you look around and see petite signs in the windows and walls, you are, indeed, on the petites floor. We are not trying to trick you!

2) If you hold up a small and do not like the shirt, you do not need to dig through the pile and find a large. It looks the same as the small, only a little bigger. You still will not like it!

3) If you hate the colors ivory, brown, gold or any thing in between then please do not buy a skirt only matching those colors. You will not like what I show you!

4) Do not tell me you are only looking for a certain color but do not care what the style is like. When I show you 4 or 5 different styles and you hate all of them, you clearly care! Tell me what you want to speed the process up. I am sure you have other retail stores to annoy!

5) Please do not get mad at me when a design isn't as long or short as you would have liked. I sell not design. But next time I have lunch with the designers I will be sure to let them know your feelings. I am sure they care.

6) When you try on a basic dress keep in mind that it will look basic. Sure you can add accessories to "jazz it up a bit," but it will still be basic. Please do not complain to me that what you are trying on is boring. What do you expect from something that is basic?

7) When shopping on Michigan Avenue on a Saturday or Sunday you must realize that it will busy. You are not the only person looking for a size 2. Please don't expect me to have your size on the rack all the time or be annoyed when it takes me a few minutes to track your skirt down that you don't even end up buying. If you want your size waiting for you when you feel like looking for it then shop on line!

8) You might be on Mich Ave but it isn't Rodeo Drive. I don't serve you water or wine. Please do not ask me what I do when I am thirsty. I do what every one does when they want something to drink. I go upstairs to the food court and get myself a pop. No! I am not going up to get you a pop.

It is just TOO much!

Why is it that Jiffy commercials put SO MUCH peanut butter on the bread? We all know what peanut butter looks like so that isn't the reason. How is it even possible to put that much on the bread? I tried this morning with my toast and it just doesn't work. The more you add, the more that comes right back off with your knife. Is the grandfather playing a trick on the grand-daughter? "Haha little girl...try eating this bread with no milk!" It just isn't natural to have that much on a single piece! I want answers....ANSWERS I say!

Everyone is a little odd...some are just a lot odd!

Almost everyone thinks that they are a great roommate. I, also, have fallen victim to thinking that I am the worlds best roommate (okay...I really am!) but when you live with new people you tend to start noticing little things you do that others don't. You notice things that just aren't normal! I have decided to post some of the things that I tend to do that apparently, others don't!


* I can't stand the shower curtain to be open! I don't like to see in the shower unless I am IN the shower.

* I can't stand my feet to be dirty. I mean, I don't like to feel things on the bottom of my feet (Crumbs on the floor, dust from the city or anything else you might walk on.) I swiffer or vacuum our floors...A LOT! This has been a challenge since I live in a city and cities are dirty!

* I can't stand silence. I must have music or the tv on at all times. This, I am sure, is really annoying as my roommate is attempting to read a law case that makes no sense!

* My closet has to be color coded. I am not an anal person when it comes to being organized, and never have been, but this is something that I have always done. Even in high school when you couldn't see the floor of my room....my closet was color coded!

* I like to cook. The odd part comes in that I ALWAYS cook enough food for double the amount eating. The sad part is that I tend to hate left overs!

* I am addicted to junk food. I also get a lot of food cravings and when I am hungry for something I want it ASAP! This means many trips to the CVS or the grocery store on our blocks. I am sure that will stop in a month when there is snow on the ground!

Maybe Janet Jackson will be on....

The other day at work, I had some one come in looking for a bright outfit to wear on Oprah. When I say bright I really only mean a blue or yellow so please do not picture a hot pink number. We have none of those. I made a comment that it would be great if the show she was going to happened to be one of O's favorite things. Her reply to me was that she would be just as happy if there was some one "very cool" on. Some one like Jon Bon Jovi or Janet Jackson. Yes, cool and Janet was used in the same sentence. Sure, she has done some really great things in her time. She had that great song, Again, and then there her performance in The Nutty Professor 2. And how could we forget her amazing performance, or wardrobe malfunction, during the 2004 Super Bowl! But of all the people you could think of to hope were on the Oprah show the day you were attending, is that really the person you pick? Let's aim a little higher, shall we?

Twiddling my thumbs

Just like with all new jobs, it takes awhile to figure out how to occupy your time when you are slow. When I was working at the coffee shop, there was plenty to do when we were slow. First off, there was wireless allowing plenty of blog time! But there were also plenty of tables to be able to actually sit down! At this job, I am left to find new things to occupy my time. Here are my top ten things to do while slow at work:


1) Make my to do lists (told you I LOVE to make lists!)
2) Twirl my pen...and there are a lot of pens!
3) Eat Juju be's. I even resort to eating the green and yellow ones!
4) Walk around creating "shopping lists" of what I would buy if I could afford to.
5) Check the time every five minutes. Sigh because it really has only been five minutes and yet it felt as it had been at least an hour!
6) Create blog ides. Yes, this was the best I could come up with yesterday. It seems when it is slow at work my brain shuts down. (Okay fine, I am sure it shuts down when we are busy as well)
7) Try to figure out what day it is and if it is an Law and Order SVU night.
8) Call my roommate...I mean "client" to see if she had received my wardrobe coupon. Then remember that I did not actually send her one!
9) Reach for my cherry coke. Then realize it isn't there. That was at my last job!
10) Count the number of minutes that are left before I can go home. It is better than counting the hours, as this goes down faster than hours!

What do you do?

A taste of Global Warming

When we moved into our apartment in August, we needed to defrost our freezer. It was over come with ice on all four sides of the freezer. As usual, I put off defrosting it and just purchased frozen goods and had them add to the artic that is better known as our freezer. I finally had it this weekend, with our freezer, when I pulled our bag of ice out for some water and it had freezer burn on it, like everything else. Ice was taking over the freezer. I thought to myself, "Self, you can defrost this. How hard can it be? It will take 20 minutes."


Minutes 0-5: Empty freezer and put into cooler. Fill cake pan of hot water and placed in freezer. Take sharp knife and start chipping away at the ice at the top if the freezer. Hm....nothing is happening.

Minutes 5-10: Empty water and refill with more hot water. Change in sharp knife for butter knife. Worried I would hurt myself with a sharp knife. New thought comes into my head "what if ice chunks break off and hit me in the eye? Should I be wearing glasses?" See no change and I should be half way done.

Minutes 10-15: Water started to freeze in cake pan. What is going on? This can not be right. See some change in the ice. I think it is starting to separate from the walls. This must be right after all. Still not wearing glasses. I am living on the edge.

Minutes 15-20: Water was frozen again. This can not be right. Only a small chunk of ice has come off. I was right though; it bounced down onto the freezer and broke off into smaller pieces that flew every where. Don't worry eyes in tact.

Minutes 20: Call Kath Kath. Explain the urgent situation. Hear nothing but laughter. "I did not tell you hot water in a cake pan, I told you BOILING water in a POT! Just the door after you put the water in so the steam loosens the ice. Another thing, put the knife down and get a rubber spatula. You are going to hurt yourself."

Minute 21-25: Correct the problems. Realize this is now going to set me back. Lesson learned.

Minutes 25-30: Kath Kath asks me if our freezer was a self cleaning one. Is she kidding? It is from the 70s. Did they have self cleaning freezers then? "Did you check to make sure water is not dripping down into your fridge?"

Minutes 30-35: We have a problem. Water is now in my fridge. Bread...wet, egs....wet, water dripping onto the floor. What a mess. Am starting to see a difference in the ice. It should be over soon. Right?

Minutes 35-40: Ice cubes are starting melt all over my counter. Cake pan is starting to fill up in the fridge. Thank heavens that was not all over my food!!! Getting more impatient then normal. This is the job of some one who has patience.

Minutes 40-45: Manage to get chunk of ice down. No fear, it stayed in large chunk, danger avoided. This is it?!?! This is all the ice that was at the top of my freezer? Where did the rest go? Remove pot and get rag to clean freezer. Found the water. It is sitting at the bottom.

Minutes 45-50: Get piece of paper towel to wipe up extra water. This is going to take a lot of paper towels. Should have listened to my grandma and kept some rags around. Now I understand what i would need them for. Find washcloth to use, water is starting to disappear from the bottom.

Minutes 50-55: Wash pots used for boiling water and put frozen goods away. Make more ice. Go to grab cake pan out of fridge. Uh-oh, we had an over flow! Where is all of this water coming from? Take care of over flow and wash cake pan.

Minute 55: Call Kath Kath. Tell her apartment was in tack. We did not float away. "Think that was a lot of water? Imagine if the ice around the world starts melting!" Thanks mom!

So I bought you a rose, on my way home from work

I have always been a "just because" type of person. I never celebrated Valentines Day and still don't. Not because I never had or don't have a significant other to celebrate with on this day. But rather, because, I don't think people that love me should need a day to tell me that they care for me? What is wrong with Feb 13th. or March 20th? Why THAT day did they need to tell me they care. If you want to express your love to others on that day, so be it, just don't do it ONLY on days set aside to express your love. My mom has always been good at sending me things "just because" to remind me that she cares for me. Because of this, I have become a person that then tells others that I care about them on days that are not their birthdays or a holiday. Today, a little boy came into where I work and reminded me how meaningful it is to do little things, all the time, for the people you care about. The conversation that follows is a reminder that the little things make the difference!

K (that is me!): Hello, how are you today?
Mom: I am fine, thank-you.
K: And how are you today? (to the little boy about 5 years old who walked in with his mother)
M: Excuse him; he is a little grumpy today.
K: (to the boy) I understand...I am too.
He smiled...the cutest smile ever!
K: What do you have in that bag? (He was holding a Dunken Donut bag)
LB: (huge smile) My favorite donuts are in here. My mom bought them for me because I had a bad day. She was trying to make me feel better.
K: Did it work? My mom does nice things like that as well. Parent's have a way of knowing how to cheer kids up.
LB: Your mom buys you donuts too?
K: Sometimes, yes. Other times she will buy me a candy bar. Little things make me feel better. I hope that donut made your bad day go away.
LB: Did you already get your candy bar?
K: Oh no. My mom lives far away (Okay so not THAT far) so I will just call her when I get home.
LB: You can have some of mine......

Why to people share?

There are not many people who work with me, but some how I have managed to never work with on particular person. He gave me my application and I have seen him 2 other times since I have been working there. Yesterday was the third time of seeing him, and it was for a total of five minutes. In that time I had one of the most pointless co-worker conversations; and I have had a lot of pointless conversations at my jobs over the years. He came down to where I was working so that I could go to a different department. While I was finishing up what I was doing, the following conversation took place:

"I know that we haven't known each other very long, (do we know each other now?) but I wanted to let you know that my birthday was on Friday."
(I assumed this was where he would say 'and I am having a gathering if you want to come') Silence......what was it that he was looking for me to say?
I replied, "Oh really? How old will you be?"
End conversation.

What was the point of that conversation? Had we been talking about weekend plans then sure, it is appropriate to say 'it is my bday!' We hadn't even exchanged the typical "how are you/how was your day" yet. What motivated him to tell me it was his birthday? Since we 'don't know each other very well' then what is the reason I needed to know it was his birthday? Maybe it is because I don't tell people random things about me that people I work with always think I am quiet at first......

Changing

What makes people change? I have had two gripes with myself and personality. Yes, only two. Other than that, I am pretty much perfect (and modest). My gripes fall with my lack of confrontation and the fact that I care too much what people think. Both of these "set backs" have different levels, and I have been attempting to work on them for a long time. I have written many posts in the past about wanting to change and to stop caring what people think. What really prompts said change? I thought that I was making progress when I was slightly more confrontational this summer, and at times that typically, I would have no said a word. Also, thought I was making head way when Sunday night I could dance, while sober, and not care what people thought. Just cared about having fun with my friends. After these "head ways" have happened, I wake up the next day still caring what people think and still biting my tongue when I have things to say. Maybe my problem with the change has been that I expect to wake up one day and no longer care what people think or be able to say whatever is on my mind to whomever is around. I guess that just isn't realistic, is it? I have thought about this a lot since moving to Chicago. This move was going to be what finally made me "change" into who I thought I wanted to be. I have come to the conclusion that I have already changed into who I wanted to be. Maybe there will be times where growth is important, but not really changing.